unimove.us
Privacy Policy
Acumen Driving Specialists, LLC doing business as UniMove.US ("us", "we", or "our") operates https://www. AcumenDrivingSpecialists.com and https://www.UniMove.us and we think we are pretty neat.
Our Privacy Policy is as simple as Bill and Ted's crucial Mantra, "Be excellent to each other."
But that may not be good enough for some. Which reminds me of a joke:
Jilted Guy #1: "Hey, Guy #2, what is the difference between a Catfish and an attorney?"
Guy #2: "I don't know."
Jilted Guy: "One is a scum-sucking bottom feeder and the other one is a fish."
Since simple unquestionable goodness is not good enough, I will try to make things sound more difficult and legal. Please accept the fact that this template I lifted from the internet really likes plural pronouns ("we", "us", "our", etc) , as if it were impossible for one singular man to run a small business, especially one with the pluralized name "Acumen Driving Specialists."
This page informs you of our policies regarding the collection, use and disclosure of Personal Information we receive from users of the Site and the fact I used to ride unicycles. We use your Personal Information only for contacting you back to discuss your needs, the same needs which prompted you to contact us to begin with. There was some jibberish in the original verbiage about using your information to improve the Site, but no, I, I mean WE won't use your information for that. I can't speak for Wix or any other cyber-supervillain who intercepts your bytes though. By using the Site, you agree to the collection and use of information in accordance with this policy.
Information Collection And Use
While using our Site, we may ask you to provide us with certain personally identifiable information that can be used to contact or identify you. Personally identifiable information may include, but is not limited to your name, email address, and phone number. ("Personal Information"). I don't really need your address to be sent over the interwebz either and unlike the real villains, I won't jack up your proposal price if you happen to live in a 3 million dollar house.
Log Data
Some site operators collect information that your browser sends whenever you visit our Site ("Log Data"). This Log Data may include information such as your computer's Internet Protocol ("IP") address, browser type, browser version, the pages of our Site that you visit, the time and date of your visit, the time spent on those pages and other statistics.
Additionally, this verbiage I copied from the internet wants me to normalize the use of third party services such as Google Analytics that collect, monitor and analyze your internet use, and get you to just accept it that "they" - the ones behind the curtain of anonymity - can constantly collect, strategize and sell tons and tons of data about you to other slimy marketing firms. But as "we" said earlier, we don't roll like that...really. In fact, we suggest you take steps to block Big Brother because that crap, despite what they want you to believe, is NOT kosher.
Communications
We may, scratch that, we will not use your Personal Information to contact you with newsletters, marketing or promotional materials and other information because that would be typical and lame. If you are a particularly awesome person, Acumen may contact you ever so occasionally to ask if we can use you on "our" references sheet. If you really want to know what is going on in the life of Robert Burke, friend me - OOPS - friend "us" on UniMove/ Acumen's facebook page and follow the 5 or 6 posts we feel obliged to make every year.
Cookies
Some cookies are delicious. We (my lady, my dogs, and the "us" that is UniMove / Acumen) especially like Chocolate Chip cookies after they've been dipped into a glass of cold milk (even though no one wants to be near me after milk :( Other Cookies are computer files with small amounts of data, which may include an anonymous unique identifier.
Cookies are sent to your browser from a web site and stored on your computer's hard drive.
Like many sites, Wix may be looking at your "cookies" to collect information, but UniMove isn't. You can instruct your browser to refuse all cookies or to indicate when a cookie is being sent. However, if you do not accept cookies, Wix may block you from being able to use some portions of our Site. just
Security
The security of your Personal Information is important to us, but remember that no method of transmission over the Internet, or method of electronic storage, is 100% secure. While we strive to use commercially acceptable means to protect your Personal Information, we cannot guarantee its absolute security.
Changes To This Privacy Policy
This Privacy Policy is effective as of 05.25.2023 and it will remain in effect except with respect to any changes in its provisions in the future, which will be in effect immediately after being posted on this page. That last sentence, not written by Robert Burke obviously, had two independent clauses and between those two independent clauses, there were TEN prepositional phrases embedded deep into two Subordinate clauses (starting with "except" and "which").
And it is precisely because of all this yadda, yadda yadda that makes the first five words all the more funny. "This Privacy Policy is effective". I am not sure it is.
We reserve the right to update or change our Privacy Policy at any time and you can check this Privacy Policy periodically. Your continued use of the Service after we post any modifications to the Privacy Policy on this page will constitute your acknowledgment of the modifications and your consent to abide and be bound by the modified Privacy Policy. If we make any material changes to this Privacy Policy, we COULD notify you either through the email address you have provided us...(if we were to keep a list, but we don't so we couldn't and/or wouldn't anyway), or by placing a prominent notice on our website.
Contact Us
If you have any questions or suggestions about this Privacy Policy, call me or report me to the smartass hotline. You can find out more information on how to contact "us" by clicking the button with one last sarcastic jab at groupthink; It's labeled Contact "Us".